Having Your Cake and Eating It, Too
by Saturn Girl
Summary: Xander and Anya have an unforgettable wedding night, and their lives are changed forever.


Title: "Having Your Cake and Eating It, Too" (1/1)  
Author: Saturn Girl  
Email: saturngirl9@hotmail.com  
  
Pairing: Xander/Anya  
Rating: R  
Summary: The newlyweds enjoy their honeymoon...but their wedded bliss doesn't last long.  
Spoilers: Fifth season, thru "The Gift"  
Warnings: Nope, sorry. You'll just have to read the story to find out.  
  
Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer don't belong to me, and I'm not making any profit from this story. Feedback welcome and appreciated.  
  
Note: Written prior to season six.  
  
*****  
  
The beaming young man kicked the hotel room door open, and carried his lovely bride over the threshold.  
  
"Welcome to your honeymoon, *Mrs.* Harris!" Xander twirled his laughing new wife around the suite, his expression one of pure joy. He brought her over to the bed, and kissed her tenderly before setting her down.   
  
"Oh, it's so wonderful, Xander," she squealed as she looked around the room. Xander had spared no expense, reserving the nicest room in Sunnydale's most upscale hotel for their wedding night. "Everything's just perfect. I've dreamt of this moment for so long, it almost doesn't seem like it's really happening! Pinch me!" Anya's flowing gown covered most of the bed as she gazed up at her husband.  
  
"We'll have plenty of time for pinching and spanking later, my little love-monkey," Xander said with a cheeky smirk. "Right now, I just want to look at you. Anya, do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" Anya smiled as he took her hand and traced the gold band around her delicate finger. "I am positively the luckiest guy in the world to have convinced a woman like you to marry me."  
  
Anya wrapped her arm around his neck and pulled him down for another long, lingering kiss. "No, I'm the lucky one," she murmured. "Xander, you are going to make me happy forever, and ever, and ever..."  
  
She was interrupted by a nervous "ahem" from across the room.  
  
The enamored couple turned to see the hotel bellhop waiting in the doorway with their bags. Xander's cheeks reddened as he hopped off the bed and hurriedly tipped the man before shutting the door.  
  
"Oops. Forgot he was there. Good thing we didn't get too carried away, huh?" He jumped back on the bed, bouncing Anya up and down in the process.  
  
The couple lay on the bed, holding hands, truly alone for the first time since early that morning.  
  
"It was perfect, wasn't it?" Xander asked as he gazed at his new bride. His jaw was faintly sore from smiling all day. The small private ceremony had gone off without a hitch, a rarity in Sunnydale. Giles and Willow had even remarked during the reception how nice it was to have a break from all the supernatural phenomena, demon fighting and vampire slaying that seemed to predominate their daily lives.  
  
"Mmm-hmm. Our wedding day was everything I hoped it would be. Everyone was happy, and had a great time. I didn't even mind the part where Spike crashed the reception and forced the DJ to play that strange music."  
  
As he unbuttoned his cuffs and started to remove his tuxedo, Xander snorted and rolled his eyes, but couldn't hold back a smile at the memory. "Yeah, I'll say. I really wasn't expecting "I Wanna Be Sedated" to be our wedding dance song."  
  
Anya excitedly opened up their suitcase and pulled out the dainty cream-colored lingerie Tara had gotten her as a shower gift. With a twinkle in her eye, Anya told Xander she was running to the bathroom to put it on.  
  
"Be my guest, gorgeous. But don't be disappointed if I rip it off five minutes from now!" Xander sat on the bed and continued to remove his clothing.  
  
"Honey, they actually have a phone in the bathroom!" Anya called out. "Can we install a phone in our bathroom, too?"  
  
"Uh...not that I ever have a pressing need to dial up my pals when I'm engaged in bathroom type behavior, but sure - whatever you want, Ahn." Xander chuckled as he turned on the TV and set the digital cable receiver to a stereo music channel.  
  
"Barry White. That's the ticket. Much more romantic than the musical stylings of Joey Ramone!" Over the music, Xander could hear Anya talking to someone.  
  
"Ahn, whatcha doing in there? Not making any long distance calls to Japan or anything are you? Y' know, these fancy-schmantzy hotels really rook you on outgoing calls!" Dressed only in a pair of maroon silk boxers, Xander struck a mockingly seductive pose on the bed as he waited for his wife to return.  
  
Anya exited the bathroom, wearing her new lingerie. Xander growled appreciatively when he saw what she was wearing. "I just...um...ordered something special," she said. "It's a surprise! Something I've been planning, for a long, long time." She carefully hung her gown in the closet and turned to her husband waiting on the bed.   
  
"I love surprises. Especially if they involve nudity, baby oil, or lots of chocolatey goodness." Hand behind his head, he batted his eyelashes and patted the bed. Anya smiled and seemed to like what she saw.  
  
"Oh, you look good enough to eat," she said, smiling and smoothing her finger along her lips. She glided over to the bar and grabbed the ice-chilled champagne bottle and two glasses before returning to bed.  
  
"Promises, promises," Xander laughed as he pulled his wife down on the bed and kissed her. Pushing the bottle and glasses aside, he trailed soft kisses down Anya's neck and shoulder. She sighed and melted into his touch as he began to caress her...  
  
*knock knock knock*  
  
Xander stopped, slightly irritated at the second interruption.  
  
"Wow, that was really fast," remarked Anya. Xander started to rise, but she stopped him. "No! No, stay put. This is the surprise I told you about. Xander, this is really important. I want you to close your eyes, and don't open them until I tell you. Stay right here and don't move a muscle. Understand?"  
  
"Ooh, I love it when you get all commanding. Okay. Not moving, not looking." Xander smiled as he lay back on the bed and covered his eyes with one hand.  
  
Their voices hushed, Xander couldn't make out what Anya was saying to the mysterious visitor. He heard a click, and he could tell even with his eyes closed that the lights had been turned off. He heard a slight rustling, and his body tingled in anticipation as the door closed, and he felt his wife approaching. He could smell her musky perfume as she stood by the side of the bed.  
  
He hissed lightly as her fingertips grazed his ankle and traced a lazy trail up the length of his body. "Ahn, yes..." Eyes still closed, he arched into her touch. When she reached the hem of his boxers, her other hand reached under the waistband and fondled his hardening sex. He blindly reached out and covered her hand with his own as she stroked both his cock and inner thigh slowly.  
  
Her hand tangled in his hair as she leaned down to kiss him.  
  
"Mmm...Anya...that's nice...uh, wait a minute...that's too many hands!" Xander's eyes flew open in surprise when he realized they weren't alone in the room. He nervously sat up in bed, and pulled his knees up to his chest.   
  
"Anya, what's going on! I-I-I know we've talked about...you know... experimenting...but I really assumed our honeymoon would be just the two of us, you know?" The unsettled groom tried desperately to make out the identity of the stranger in the dark room.  
  
His heart froze when he recognized the woman's singsong voice. "Hush, kitten, don't be frightened. Mummy will be very, very gentle with you. I promise." The woman giggled as she sat down at the foot of the bed.  
  
"Drusilla...oh, god, no...Anya, get out of here...RUN!" Xander steeled himself and leapt at the vampire, determined to slow her down until his wife could escape safely. They both tumbled off the bed onto the ground.   
  
Drusilla, with her superior vampiric strength, easily pinned the struggling young man beneath her. Her hand gripped his neck, choking off his loud cries, but allowing him enough air to breathe.  
  
"Let...let my wife go," he rasped, digging at the strong hand holding him down.  
  
"Don't fret, precious. I have no intention of hurting her. Oh, but Anyanka is my bosom friend, she is, she is, she is. And soon we'll be friends, too, Alexander." Drusilla straddled Xander and grinned down at him as she pushed a stray lock of hair out of his eyes.  
  
"W-what? What are you talking about? Anya, please...tell me, what the hell is going on?" Xander strained but couldn't see his wife from his vantage point on the floor.  
  
Anya turned on the bedside light and crawled to the foot of the bed so she could address her frightened husband. She sighed.  
  
"Xander, you were supposed to keep your eyes shut!" she said impatiently. "My plan would have worked a lot smoother if you had only listened to me. Is this what I have to look forward to? You not paying any attention to my needs? We're going to have to work on that, honey."  
  
"ANYA! WORK WITH ME HERE! WHY...IS DRUSILLA... IN... OUR... ROOM??!" Xander choked out in exasperation.  
  
"Oh, her." Anya waved her hand in front of her face. "Pfft! Don't worry. She's not here to copulate with us. She's just doing me a favor." She turned to Drusilla warily. "You do understand that our arrangement does not extend to you taking advantage of my husband, don't you? Xander belongs to me."  
  
Drusilla shrugged. "If you insist, Anyanka." She eased up on Xander, but still held him firmly to the ground, preventing his escape.  
  
"Yes, she most definitely insists! There will be absolutely no vampire copulation allowed during the Harris honeymoon!" Xander rubbed his throat, his heart racing. "Anya - what arrangement? Why does she keep calling you by your demon name?"  
  
Anya swung her legs over the side of her bed and regarded her husband, her face clouded with guilt. "I...I've been meaning to tell you the truth about me, but I was really concerned about how you'd react. But now that we're finally wed, I guess there's no reason for you to be kept in the dark any longer."  
  
"Do you remember the summer after graduation, when I left Sunnydale?" she asked. Xander nodded, but he was obviously confused. "That summer I set off determined to regain my power center. What I never told you, is that I actually met with D'Hoffryn, my old boss, and he informed me exactly what I needed to do in order for him to restore my demon powers."  
  
Xander shook his head slowly in disbelief, shocked at what his wife was telling him, but he had no words. Anya continued.  
  
"To punish me and make it difficult to regain my former status, D'Hoffryn issued a challenge. Find the man who escaped my curse, and convince him to marry me. He thought this was extremely amusing, considering my millennia old hatred of all things masculine. He promised me that on my wedding night, he would give me a new power center, and I'd be immortal again!"  
  
"No!" Xander cried out in anguish, and tried vainly to shove Drusilla off his chest. She grabbed his wrists and issued him a warning look. "No, tell me that's not true. Tell me you haven't been lying to me all this time, Anya. We love each other!"  
  
"For shame, young lovers quarreling...but you'll be blissful again soon enough, and you'll have all eternity to bask in each other's love," Drusilla cooed.  
  
"Shut up!" he spat. "We're not talking to you!" The vampire pouted.  
  
Anya knelt down and stroked the side of her husband's face. "Oh, I do love you, Xander. I never thought that would happen. That wasn't part of my plan. I was just supposed to swoop in, seduce you, marry you, and then be on my way. Piece of cake! But things got very complicated. The more time I spent with you, the more I realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. The thought of leaving you after our wedding night brought me great pain." She turned her face away. "I almost considered breaking my deal with D'Hoffryn, so I could remain with you."  
  
"Anya, then stay with me! I love you. I don't want to live without you. Please, don't do this. We've been so happy the past three years, why do you want to throw that all away? Please, don't leave me," he pleaded.  
  
Anya began to weep. "You don't understand, honey. I wasn't going to leave you on our wedding night. I'm...I'm supposed to kill you. The challenge requires that I sacrifice you, my husband, on our marital bed before D'Hoffryn can give me my reward."  
  
Xander's face fell as he realized the depth of Anya's betrayal. He slackened in Drusilla's grip. "No. Oh, god, Ahn! That's what this is about," he cried bitterly. "You don't have the courage to m-murder me yourself, so you hire Dru to do your dirty work for you? Anya, I trusted you! How could you do this to me, to us? You say you love me, but your love means nothing if you're willing to kill me just so you can go off and be Vengeance Girl again. Our whole relationship has been nothing but a big, fat LIE!"  
  
"Honey, don't say that!" Anya begged. "Nothing I ever said to you was a lie. I do love you! You mean more to me than anything else in this world. I just never told you about D'Hoffryn's challenge. And I never, ever would have told you. I was willing to grow old and wrinkly with you, rather than see you die. I would have, too...if...I had never met Drusilla."  
  
"I don't understand. What's she got to do with any of this?" asked Xander.  
  
"Anyanka, please do let me tell the story. Miss Edith loves a good bedtime story." Anya nodded, rubbing the dampness from her eyes.  
  
"Once upon a time, a lovely princess named Drusilla was in love with a handsome rogue named Spike." Drusilla's eyes shined as she relayed the tale to her trembling captive. "For more than a hundred years, they were happy together. They sang, they danced, they drank the sweet blood of thousands of innocents together. Drusilla didn't think her perfect unlife could be any better...that is, until SHE came around."  
  
Drusilla's eyes darkened. "The Slayer. That horrible, wretched harlot of a Slayer, who plucked Spike's heart out of my grasp and crushed our love under her boot. She reduced my once proud and glorious Spike to the pathetic, weak-willed man he once was. She returned him to the miserable existence I rescued him from! Spike, my own beloved Childe, committed the ultimate betrayal when he chose his love for the Slayer over his love for me. For that, they both shall suffer. Anyanka has promised me that."  
  
Drusilla pulled the stunned young man from the floor, and transported him back to the bed. He followed her, not resisting, trying to absorb what he'd learned. The vampire hummed the wedding march theme as she pushed Xander back down on the pillows, and crawled up beside him. Anya moved up to sit on the edge of the bed, and she took her husband's hand as she looked into his pained face.  
  
"She found me that night, the night she fought with Buffy and Spike. She caught me when I stopped by the grocery store on my way home from work, and she was going to kill me. The whole time she kept ranting about Buffy and Spike and betrayal, and that's when it came to me. My idea. My plan to make sure I'd be able to regain my powers again, but still have you." She moved to kiss him, but Xander shrugged his head away.  
  
"You're as crazy as she is!" he cried, nodding at the vampire. "Anya, you want her to turn me into a vampire? Is that what your brilliant plan is? News flash! If Drusilla turns me, I won't be the man you love anymore! Xander Harris will cease to exist!" His eyes flashed angrily. He sat up, but Drusilla restrained his arm to prevent him from getting off the bed.  
  
"I'll still look and sound the same, but without my soul, everything you claim to love about me will be gone. Or does that mean nothing to you? Am I just your sexy little boy toy, Anya? Your Viking in the sack?" he asked, angry tears running down his face. "Is that the only reason you want to keep me around...so you can continue "smooshing" and having your "pleasure moments?" That's not love. If that's what you're afraid of giving up to become Anyanka again, then you never truly cared about me..."  
  
Drusilla covered his mouth lightly with her hand, shushing him.  
  
"Don't listen to him, my dear. It's time for me to keep my end of our bargain. I embrace your beloved, and then you grant me my wish. I can't wait to see how the Slayer likes the new Spike, when she finds him human again, but corpulent and covered with pustules." She giggled. "They can have each other. And you and Alexander will be young and beautiful together until the end of time." She shifted to her full vampire face as Xander struggled and tried to free himself from her clutches.  
  
"No, Anya, please! Don't do this! You won't just be sacrificing me, you'll lose everything we ever had." His eyes pleaded with his wife to stop what was happening.  
  
Anya's lips trembled, and she reached out hesitantly to her husband's face. "Drusilla, please! Please don't hurt him. I can't bear to see him suffer."   
  
Xander's eyes filled with hope, as he covered Anya's hand on his cheek with his own.  
  
"Make sure he doesn't feel anything."  
  
"No! An-" Xander wailed, his anguished cry cut short as Drusilla struck, her sharp fangs piercing his bare neck. He struggled and moaned as the vampire fed from his torn throat, his blood spattering the bed and Anya's silky lingerie.   
  
Anya wept as she held his hand tightly and watched her husband slowly die. Drusilla opened a wound above her breast, and forced Xander to drink from it. He finally collapsed, dead to the world. Drusilla happily licked the blood from her lips and fingers, and turned to the demon.  
  
"Delicious. The blood of those in love is always sweeter than wine. Thank you for giving him to me! I look forward to having him as my new Childe."  
  
Anyanka, magically restored to her demonic self, corrected the vampire.  
  
"I told you, there will be no having. He's mine, Drusilla." She stroked the dark hair out of his still, pale face, yearning for the moment he would awaken, reborn.   
  
"Mine forever."  
  
===== THE END ===== 


End file.
